No starry night. I looked for ten minutes to find one single star. None. Cold night. Heat from the ciggie warmed my body. Every puff has its reason. The first puff is always about death. I wonder, how many puffs would it take to kill me? I wonder. The second puff I related it with life. What is life? A journey about self-actualization? No. It is more than that. Life is about making mistakes. Mistakes that we commit every single breath we take. Mistakes that we accidentally commit or the one that we purposely do. As I released the puff, it creates a smokey stage in the air. A stage where I can see my life, my mistakes that I have committed. I smiled. That is my life.
The third puff reminds me of hate. There are people who I loath and hated to my guts. For those who I loath, I couldn't give the reason why. I didn't want to know. I only know I hated them. The forth puff, love. Love can cheer you up and love can make you down. I had felt both part. As the smokey stage were set, I see my love life like a boat in stormy sea. Just waiting for the boat to sink or the storm to calm down.Which ever come first. Waiting.
Four puffs. I managed to take only four puffs tonight. And it is still half way. I'm going to call it a night. Probably........................
I'm just tired of everything.
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